I received a very good lesson when I did a joke child. It was when I do a joke; I need to think if I do not hurt somebody with this.
I was 6 years old when one day I decided to hide for everybody in my house. I hide under the dinner table. The dinner table had a large tablecloth, so nobody could see me. I stated in this place for 4 hours until I felt down sleep. While I was slept, all my family and my neighbors had been looking for me. Some people went to the police, and other people went to the nearby hospital. Everybody was very worried for me.
I was put my head in a chair while I slept. After 4 hours my dad tried to seat in this chair and this moment he founded me. He was very angry with me, but at the same time he was very happy for see me.
I told him that I want to do little joke to my friends, but I never imagined what big my joke was. I never wanted to hurt many people. Finally they understand that the problem was that I slept. My lesson was that before I do any action I need to think if I don’t hurt other people.
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CONTENT
ReplyDeleteI like your history. I did the same. Thank God no one had a heart attack. I understood your writing.
COHESIVENESS
For me was easy to follow. it has a good structure.
GRAMMAR
You need to review some sentences, for example you wrote in the first sentence when I did a joke child.. I think you should write.. when I played a joke as a child. Look also the verbs like I stated in this place.. the correct write is stayed.
CONTENT
ReplyDeleteYour story is good. I can understand.
COHESIVENESS
Your story has a good connection.
GRAMMAR
Everybody was very worried for(about) me.
Finally,(you need to put the comma) they understand(understood) that the problem was that I slept.